


Nightshade

by TornBetweenFriends



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Assault, F/M, Love, Posessive Bucky Barnes, Protective Bucky Barnes, Romance, Smut, Too many tags give stuff away, Trauma, Violence, i don't like tags, traumatic events
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 14:32:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9445652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TornBetweenFriends/pseuds/TornBetweenFriends
Summary: When you met Bucky, you had hit rock bottom.  And now together, you're barely keeping your heads above water.





	1. Chapter 1

"Who is he?", Bucky's steel blue eyes pinned you in place from under the bill of his cap, his jaw clenched, fists balled. He was asking about the guy you were talking with two stalls away at the market while you were both out, having just come home.

"Just some guy I used to know.", you replied quietly, blinking quickly.

"I let you out of my reach for two minutes and you're talking to 'some guy'?", his voice was low and gruff... calm, but you could tell he was having a hard time staying level.

"It's nothing to get wor-"

You were interrupted by him taking one swift step forward, you stepping back and bumping into the wall behind you as his metal hand hit the wall near your head, crushing the drywall beneath it as you flinched. He didn't remove his hand from the hole in the wall as his flesh hand then dug into your hip, his massive frame towering over you. His face was only inches from yours, you could feel his labored breath feathering down over your nose and lips as he growled, "Who... is he?"

"Buck...", you knew he wouldn't hurt you. He couldn't. And you knew that only you could talk him down. Your submissiveness to him blended with a still, strong, confident presence and your quiet, gentle voice was the only thing that could bring him down. It was you. You were his anchor; his balance. His gentle lamb with the power of a thousand lightning bolts in her delicate hands. "We don't have a lot of money, you need to stop putting holes in the walls." Your eyes were commanding, but you blinked timidly.

"You don't worry about that." He wasn't coming down yet. "Who is he?"

"I went to college with him."

His eyes were still hard and focused on yours and you couldn't remember the last time he blinked, "You didn't live here when you went to college.", he spat through clenched teeth.

You tilted your head ever so slightly, "People travel and move around the world, Buck. You did." You reached up to caress his cheek and he quickly blocked your attempt with his forearm, swiping downward. 

Before you knew what had happened, he had you turned and pinned against the wall, his metal hand holding both your wrists together between your front and the wall so that you couldn't reach him. He wasn't going to risk you putting him in his place when he didn't want to be put there.

"Mine.", he growled in your ear as he started to pull your sweatpants and underwear down just enough to dip two warm fingers inside you as he ravaged the side of your neck.

You gasped at the stinging force of his fingers; he hadn't given you any time to get aroused before starting to claim you. "Buck.", you whimpered, the side of your forehead against the wall. His dominance was getting you slick quickly as his fingers slid further inside you.

"Shhh, just a little more, baby.", he pushed them in the rest of the way and whispered in your ear, "Be good, miss."

"Okay.", you whispered.

He released your hands, gripped your hip with his metal hand and his fingers slid in and out of you more fluidly with each stroke as you braced yourself against the wall, whimpering quietly. His hands left you, he took off his hat and tossed it across the room letting his long strands fall around his face. You heard his zipper being quickly undone. He shoved into you hastily, making you yelp loudly as he let out a loud groan at your tightness. He covered you with his hard body, his arms around your ribs, holding your close. He wasted no time ramming into you desperately, your cries getting louder. He gripped your jaw in his flesh hand, huffing in your ear low and deep, "Who do you belong to?"

"You, Buck.", you whined, his thrusts never letting up.

"Who?", he panted.

You sobbed, you were so close, "You, Sir."

"Fuck, yes. Don't you forget it, miss.", his mouth took yours roughly and he devoured the sweet noises he was urging out of you. He then kissed your temple, straightened and doubled his efforts for you, his fingers digging into your flesh.

Within moments your were crying out, clenching him tightly as you pushed him over the edge as well with a loud groan, "Ah, Jesus fuck!"

He leaned over you again, his breathing labored as he kissed your neck softly. You turned your head to kiss his lips again; soft, slow.

He put his forehead to your temple and whispered, "Mine."

You put your hand to the back of his head, your fingers pushing into his damp hair, "I'll always be yours, James."


	2. Chapter 2

After your little "fight", you and Bucky had laid down for a nap on the twin bed in your studio apartment. He jolted awake, lifting his head, his metal arm gripping you tighter to his front.

You grunted softly, the force waking you, "Buck-"

"Shh."

You froze, listening, eyes wide. There was shuffling on the balcony.

He whispered, his words rushed, "Bathroom. Now."

You scrambled off the bed as quietly as possible and made it into the bathroom, Bucky right behind you.

He closed the door carefully and pointed to the corner behind the sink cabinet, his expression commanding.

You did as he silently ordered and huddled in the corner out of sight, pulling your jacket hood over your head, cowering, knees pulled into you. You tried to fight the tears... This was it. They'd found him... They would take him away from you. He saved your life and became your life. You couldn't live without him now.

He was listening intently staring at the door, when he heard your breath hitch slightly. Had it not been for his heightened senses, he wouldn't have heard it. He went to you and crouched down. He slid a hand behind your hooded head, your long hair cascading down your chest. He put his mouth right against your ear and whispered so quietly that it almost wasn't audible, "It's gonna be okay, baby. I love you." He pulled back and locked eyes with you.

You mouthed back, your face painted with fear, "I love you."

He pressed a long kiss to your forehead and stood. He could hear someone inside now as he slowly started to step away. He put a flat hand out at hip level, palm down, signaling you to stay as he glanced at you.

You swallowed hard and nodded.

He opened the door, his eyes darting around. He then walked through it and latched it closed again without a sound.

Your eyes were wide as you tried to hear anything over the deafening thudding of your heart in your ears. You were trembling and hugging your knees, silent tears racing down your checks. If they took him, you'd be alone again; scared and vulnerable. He was your everything.

But all you could do was wait... in terror.


	3. Chapter 3

You waited. You had no idea how much time had passed, your eyes darting around trying to hear something... anything. You got more frightened with each passing second. Was he still out there? Did they take him already? Did he leave? He wouldn't leave you... would he?!

Your face twisted up as your started to sob silently, pressing your mouth against your hands resting on your knees, trying to not make any sound, sweat gathering on your upper lip.

There was a low buzzing of sound. You froze to hear it, holding your breath. Your eyes barely closing swiftly before snapping open again quickly with each blink. The sound would start, stop and draw out at different lengths. It went on for maybe a minute or two. What the hell was that?!

You felt the sting of tears in your throat again. You were so scared. You just wanted to run to Bucky's arms, but you didn't even know if he was still there... and he told you to stay. His whisper echoed in your head, 'It's gonna be okay, baby. I love you.' You squeezed your eyes shut and thought to yourself, 'Bucky, don't leave me.'

Your were snapped out of your thoughts when the buzzing stopped. You waited...

A loud three note whistle with a unique cadence rang out from the other side of the door and wall. Your eyes got wide, your head lifted. That was Bucky's call to you, his signal to come to him. He had established many covert communications between you both... to keep you safe, because he knew he was a wanted man.

Your instinct was to jump up and run to him. You almost did. But you waited a moment or two... What if he was being coerced to call you? Surely, they would have to torture him before he would give into that-

"Meine süße.", his voice was loud, but relaxed and calmly commanding when he called out to you.

That was more reassuring; he didn't sound distressed. Which at least meant he had everything under control. You had learned to read even his voice.  


You got up, still reluctant, and went to the door, swiping at your eyes with your hoodie sleeves. You swallowed hard and your hand paused on the knob as you reminded yourself, 'Be brave, he taught you how to take care of yourself... you can do this... at least I hope I can." You took a deep breath in through your nose, your chest hitching a couple times. You turned the knob slowly... easing the door open, your heart pounding. When it was open just enough, you looked out through timid, but alert eyes, your chin tilted down, your face still framed by your hair that was covered by your hood.

You saw Bucky... and beyond him, near the kitchen area, another man. He was wearing a red, white and blue kind of jumpsuit, holding a shield of the same colors. His suit and shield donning a star each. He was wearing a helmet covering his head and half his face, so you couldn't really make out his features. He was large, like Bucky. Steve? Bucky had only mentioned him once or twice, but you had never seen him. Even in your tense state, you found him... compelling. Once you had taken in the other man in a matter of two seconds, you looked to Bucky, hardly turning your head.

"Ist in Ordnung, Liebling", he soothed, his face soft and affectionate only enough for you to notice it. Seeing his face really helped you to know that it was okay. You and he could read each other well enough in a sticky situation that you didn't need words... another survival tactic for you both, but this one had come naturally, sprouted from your love; your connection to each other. He closed his eyes and slowly hitched his head to urge you out again.  


He closed his eyes longer than blinking. He didn't need to be on guard against this other man. That was the last sign you needed before you relaxed enough to start coming out. Your reservation of feeling frightened started to melt as you made your way to Bucky, eyes flitting between both men and to the floor from under your lashes. You stopped a fraction of a step back from being right by Bucky's side, your arms hanging by your sides.

The other man watched you as you moved... like a fragile little fawn with big blue eyes, dark as a deep and stormy sea. And the way you glanced at him; your chin down, eyes curious... he was captivated.

You just watched the man, your eyes had locked with his, your gentle confidence returning as Bucky spoke, his voice quiet and gravelly, "Steve, this is Bella." He placed a hand on the side of your hooded head and kissed it, your eyes closing only until his loving touch left you.  


It WAS Steve.

Steve turned his head so slightly, feeling a bit foolish for asking, but did anyway, "Like the vampire... movies?"

Your face stayed unchanged and so did Bucky's as he answered, hands at his sides again, "No. Belladonna. The poisonous flower. And while she can be timid, she's also very powerful."

Your expression was still soft, curiosity now blending with confidence as you tilted your head only enough to be noticed. Your gestures and expressions were always so subtle, but impactful.

Steve tilted his chin up and pursed his lips as you still watched him interacting with Bucky. Bucky asked Steve with a slight smirk, "You wanna see what she can do?"

Steve scoffed quietly, "I don't feel like being poisoned today, thanks."

"That's not what she does.", Bucky replied as a tiny smile slid over your closed lips while you looked up at Bucky, who mirrored your expression. You actually found it a bit fun to "play" with willing participants, especially those bigger than you... which was most people.  


Steve was drawn to you enough that he wanted to know more about you, even if it meant he'd make an ass of himself for agreeing, "Alright.", he finally got out. "What do I need to do?", he turned and put his shield on the kitchen island behind him, taking in a deep breath.

"Just stand there.", Bucky answered.

You finally spoke with your small, soft voice, looking up at Bucky inquisitively with doe eyes, blinking, "How much?"

"He's like me.", Bucky winked.

Your smile grew a fraction as you headed towards Steve.

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️  
"Meine süße" = my sweet  
"Ist in Ordnung, Liebling" = Is okay, darling (it's okay OR things are in order)


	4. Chapter 4

As you approached Steve his eyes were fixed on you, roaming your delicate face. He was a little nervous, not knowing what to expect, but he couldn't help thinking how beautiful and adorable you were... so small. You didn't even make it quite to his shoulders.

You stopped in front of him and looked up coyly, your expression neutral, but your heart was racing. He was massive and it made your blood run hot. His chest was heaving slightly in anticipation... and at being so close to you. You reached up and ran your fingertips over his helmet, across the forehead and temple to where it ended just above his cheek. He didn't recoil from your touch. You wanted to see all of his face, so you spoke softly, "Please?"

He clenched his jaw, his heart skipping a beat. Your sweet voice and submissive demeanor made him want to do anything for you. He removed his helmet and placed it next to his shield behind him. Your breath caught slightly when he did and made eye contact with you again. He was beautiful. Bucky's features were rugged and angular, which drove you crazy. But, Steve... Steve's features were a bit softer while still masculine; everything sculpted to come together perfectly, complimented by his short, dark blond hair. And those bright blue eyes were the focal point.

You turned your head to look at Bucky hoping he didn't see your reaction; he was so possessive. He surprised you when one corner of his mouth pulled up slightly as he blinked slowly at you. Seeing that he wasn't upset, you looked back to your small hands as you brought them up, hesitantly over Steve's broad front, one high on his chest, the other poised at his ribs, your breaths coming slightly quicker now. Your chin down, your eyes meet his again, "Ready?", you almost whispered.

By now, he was craving your touch, even without know what it would bring. He nodded once gently.

You closed your eyes and took a breath in. When your hands made contact with him, his face twisted, his eyes squeezed shut and he groaned loudly. A painful surge of energy spread through his body as he fell to his knees before you. His descent took your hands from him. His heart was racing and every muscle in his body felt exhausted, like they'd been pushed to the brink of paralysis. He felt a bit dizzy, tingly and disoriented, enough that he didn't even see your hand moving to come to rest gingerly under his jaw, lifting it so he could look up at you.

"Just focus on breathing.", you offered calmly, gazing down at him, your delicate lips slightly parted, staring into his eyes, "It'll pass soon."

The parallel of how he kneeled at your feet and how he felt surrendered to you was clear to him. He was powerless in that moment... and he reveled in it.

As the effects began to subside, you took two slow steps back, monitoring him.

Bucky came up behind you placing a hand on either of your upper arms and he kissed your head as Steve started to stand weakly, supporting himself on the kitchen island with a hand. "That's my girl.", Bucky cooed, his lips against your hair. He was always proud to see you using your powers; the way you used it now and what he taught you about defending yourself gave him comfort. It eased his mind to see evidence that should you ever be torn apart that you could keep yourself unharmed and alive until he could get to you again.

"What was the meter at on that one?", Steve huffed out.

You lifted your chin slightly, "80 out of 100."

Bucky shifted, stepping slightly to your side, his flesh hand coming to rest at the base of your neck as he chimed in, "Super humans are more resistant. That would've permanently brain damaged, paralyzed or even killed a normal person." He smirked, "In very low doses, it's a nice addition to certain activities." He gave you a knowing side eye and you blushed, looking to the floor and trying not to crack a huge smile.

Steve groaned, but was feeling almost himself again. He turned his head in a jerk, "I didn't need to know that." He was upright again and addressed you, "Thanks for not killing me." He smiled softly at you.

"You're welcome.", you blinked, your lips curved up slightly.

"Bucky,", Steve went on, "The reason I came here is to tell you that they are people coming for you. They think you killed a lot of people."

Panic swept over you.

Bucky's face got hard, "I haven't killed anyone...", he glanced at you, his eyes saddened remembering when he saved your life, "not for a long time." You gazed downward, recalling that horrific night.

"I know that, but they don't.", Steve offered. "I managed to get here ahead of them, but you don't have much time."

"How much time?", Bucky inquired solemnly, his voice gruff.

"I don't know. I have a look out on the roof."

Bucky walked swiftly to a spot in the hardwood floor by the back door. He punched down into it with his metal fist and yanked out two backpacks. He headed for you in a quick gait. Everything inside you was starting to twist up and you felt sick. He dropped one of the backpacks at his feet and gripped your arm, turning your harshly, your back to him as Steve looked on. Bucky started to put the back pack he still held on you as he spoke sternly, "We need to get out of here, but I can't risk having you with me."

Your face scrunched up and tears welled up in your eyes, your throat tightening... no.

He turned you to face him as you bit your lip into your mouth hard. He dipped his head down to look in your eyes, his hands on your arms, "You're gonna go first so they don't know we're connected. Once you're clear, Steve and I will leave."

"No, Buck-", you let out a sob, Steve's face turning sympathetic, but he knew Bucky was doing the right thing sending you away.

"Baby, listen to me. This is important. You have to go."

The tears were flowing freely now as your body and head jerked with the sobs you were holding in as you stared into his eyes.

"Go to the holding location and then go to the safe house in the morning and stay there until you hear from me."

Steve offered, "We'll make sure you get safely out of sight before we leave here."

You squeezed your eyes shut, your body hitching more violently now. This was really happening. Your protector, your love... your life... was being taken from you.

You sniffed and took a deep breath before your voice came out in a timid whine, "How long?" You eyes pleaded with him and it broke his heart.

"I don't know, schatz.", his eyes flitted between both of yours, filled with torture, "But, I'll come for you. I promise. I'll always come for you." His face pained, he took your head in his hands and kissed your forehead firmly, then pulled you into his chest, your face buried in his embrace, his cheek on your head as you started to quietly cry.

"Remember what I taught you.", he said and pulled back, your face cupped in his hands, your small fingers gripping his wrists desperately. He kissed your lips for a long beat and then put his forehead to yours, "I love you, my life. Now go."

You whispered back, "Ich liebe dich, mein Leben." You stayed for a moment, trying to memorize his smell, the feel of him, the sound of his voice, his eyes... You finally gathered all the courage you could muster and turned away out of his grasp, walking swiftly out the door and closing it. A rapid succession of whispered sobs escaped your lips as your started to run down the stairs. Your heart was shattering into tiny slivers.

You pushed through the door to the building on the ground floor into the cool air. You jogged down the street towards the first of the locations Bucky had arranged in case this ever happened. After you'd gotten a good distance down the street, you heard a faint commotion far behind you and turned to see the building being surrounded by a swarm of people in black tactical gear. They were flooding the front door and there were some repelling down the sides from the roof.

Your eyes squeezed shut, your hands covering your nose and mouth as your started to cry even harder. "No.", you whimpered out, trembling violently. You should have left sooner. You should've just been brave and left sooner. Guilt and agony washed over you. You then did the only thing left to do; you turned and ran with everything you had.

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

"schatz" = treasure  
"Ich liebe dich, mein Leben." = I love you, my life.


	5. Chapter 5

You reached the "holding location", which was a tiny storage unit one town over. You used the skills Bucky taught you to make sure you weren't followed and stopped In front of the unit.

It was starting to get dark as you took off your back pack and fetched the key out of one of the zippered pockets.

You let yourself in, then locked the door from the inside after yanking on the string to the exposed bulb hanging overhead. The 5x10 space was stocked with some canned food and an opener, just gathered in the corner. There was a cot mattress on the floor and a rolled up sleeping bag on top of it.

You looked at it and clenched your jaw, sighing before rolling out the sleeping bag. You sat down on the mattress and dug in your backpack, finding a bottle of water and taking a long drink.

You set the bottle down on the concrete floor and laid down, pulling your hoodie over your head again and wrapping the jacket part of it around your body tightly, pulling your knees up into yourself.

It actually used to be Bucky's hoodie, but he put it on you once and thought you looked adorable in it, drowning in the cozy fabric; symbolic of his love surrounding you. So, it became your security blanket... and you could still smell his faint scent on it from all the times he'd held you close.

You hoped he was still okay; you were worried enough that a dull nausea loomed in your belly. And where you were now reminded you too much of how you had been living when you nearly lost your life. Add to that you longing for your shit hole apartment and the safety of your love; your savior.

Tears ran quickly down your face, seeping into the musty fabric beneath you and you remembered how you used to go to sleep each night... in Bucky's strong arms...

_Face to face, you stroked his cheek as he stared into your eyes with such adoration while he cooed, "My sweet baby Bella...", he kissed your lips gingerly, "My life."_

_Your own lips curved up as you returned softly, "My strong Buck... mein Leben." You kissed his lips and he closed his eyes, humming..._

But, he wasn't with you that night. You didn't know where he was... or if you'd ever see him again. He said he would come for you, but how could he ever guarantee that? The thought was gut wrenching and you felt so vulnerable without him... you just silently cried yourself to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

The man had been watching you from the diner counter nearby. You were doodling on a napkin while sitting in a booth that was at the end of the counter, taking your time with your coffee that night. The staff at the diner knew you didn't have anywhere to go, so they let you hang out there as long as you wanted. The owner always gave you a meal a day; eggs and fruit. They would refill your coffee cup and water glass all day if you didn't go anywhere.

You kept glancing up at him from your napkin every few moments, trying to be covert, your chin down, quickly averting your eyes anytime he was looking at you. He never smiled... just watched with his steely eyes. He made you nervous, but he also drew your interest, he was stunning. Why didn't he take off his gloves?

The diner would be closing in about half an hour and with this man making you nervous you were thinking about leaving when the waitress, Lena, came over with the coffee carafe, "More, sweetie?"

You shook your head slightly, your tiny voice coming out quietly, "Thank you."

"Okay, take care. See you tomorrow.", she beamed down at you and left.

You glanced at the man again and his eyes were wider, intense.

You gathered your bag and put your hood on your head, steering yourself to the door quickly. Once you were outside, you noticed that the man stayed in the diner. You felt a wave of relief, but kept looking behind you. You had been walking for several minutes and finally relaxed, sure that he hadn't followed you.

You were thinking about where you could go that night to huddle down and hide. You didn't usually sleep during the night; you didn't feel safe enough to. Your thoughts were quickly interrupted when you were harshly grabbed, your mouth covered as you tried to scream out. You were dragged into an alley and slammed to the ground, a heavy body over you, crushing the air out of your lungs.

You whimpered and struggled as a male voice muttered something in your ear in a language you didn't understand, he then shoved your head against the pavement, scraping your cheek on the gravelly surface. The sting made you cry out loudly and he punched you in the head, growling out more words you didn't know. He kept slamming his fist into your head, face and back and kneed you with harsh blows to your side a few times as you struggled in vain.

You started to feel dizzy, feeling close to unconsciousness and couldn't fight anymore. He had you completely pinned. He yanked down your sweatpants and you heard a zipper being undone quickly.

You then felt the weight lift, the cool air of the night on your backside as you struggled to stay awake, whimpering through the blood seeping out of your mouth. You tried to move, started to reach down with a weak hand to pull up your pants and trying to roll onto your side as you heard deep grunts, groans and the sounds of a struggle. Then you heard a loud crack and a thump.

Your vision was blurry as you were still slowly pulling up the waistband of your pants with scraped fingers while you fought stay conscious, huffing in pain... only the foggy image of the sideways pavement in front of you whenever you managed to open your eyes.

You felt hands start to grab at the waist of your sweatpants again. You whimpered desperately as a voice sushed and soothed you in a foreign tongue, breath slightly labored.

"Nein. Bitte...", you barely managed with a hoarse voice.

The hands finished pulling up your pants gingerly and rolled you a bit more, "Shh, ich werde dich nicht verletzen.", the gravelly voice soothed again. Strong arms then lifted you, making you feel so weightless that you couldn't hold on anymore and blacked out.

You woke in the storage unit with a start, crying with the dim bulb still buzzing above you. Your chest heaved as you sat up and put your face in your hands, your sobs growing stronger. You wished you could stop dreaming about that night... especially now... now that Bucky wasn't there to hold you and make you feel safe.  
...  
...  
TRANSLATIONS▪️"Nein. Bitte..." = No. Please..., "Ich werde dich nicht verletzen." = I will not hurt you.


	7. Chapter 7

Bucky had been captured not long after your apartment building had been invaded.

Now he sat in a cell, restrained, though he didn't fight.

A man sat before him, outside his cell, at a table... talking to him.

Bucky gave very little interaction. When the man called him 'James', he stated that his name was 'Bucky'. You were the only one he wanted to call him by his given name. Bucky also declined an exchange of conversation when asked about what he's seen in life, "I don't wanna talk about it."

Though he heard everything the man was saying, his energy was focused on his own thoughts... thoughts of forming an escape... not making you wait, without his protection. He trusted his connections, but if you weren't in his sights at all times, he fretted immensely. Thoughts of getting to you flooded his mind.

The lights went out and emergency lights switched on. Bucky asked, "What the hell is this?"

The man started talking to him about his "real home" and pulled out a book; a book Bucky recognized. His throat tightened with anxiety as he blinked. _'No.'_ , he thought, dread creeping in.

The man stood and started to read from the book; words Bucky knew all too well.

"No.", he whispered, his eyes closing as he shook his head slightly. This couldn't happen.

The man kept reading as Bucky thumped his head against the rest behind his head, squeezing his eyes shut again, his bottom lip quivering in fear.

"Stop.", he said, his voice low and pleading. _'Bella. I have to get to Bella.'_ , he thought. He was afraid that if The Soldier took over that he would never see you again... that he would never be there to protect you again. The man kept reading as Bucky growled out, louder now, "Stop." The man ignored him and kept going, rounding his cell now. Bucky started to feel himself slipping away, panic sweeping over him. He had to get out and stop this man... before it was too late. He started growling and groaning to break free from his restraints. He yelled out, pulling against the clamp that held his metal arm, succeeding quickly. _'Bella!',_ , his head screamed. He yanked the other restraint off with the aid of his metal hand. _'I can't leave her alone.'_

He started punching at the thick, reinforced glass on the door to his cell, growling and shouting... his control was slipping further away with each word and each blow of his fist. _'No! Bella!'_ He was fighting with everything he had now as what little was left of his mind shoved the memory of the night he saved you to the forefront, desperately clinging, trying not to forget. _'My life... My life...'_

You had woken slowly, your vision taking a few moments to focus once you'd opened your eyes, your head throbbing.

You didn't recognize where you were as you laid on a small bed, covered with a tattered blanket, your head and shoulders propped up on a folded up sleeping bag. There was a dim light coming from a shaded floor lamp in the corner of the large room. Terror started to consume you and you tried to move, letting out a muffled cry against your pressed lips and surrendering to the stabbing pain in your side.

There was swift movement on the tiny sofa that was slightly in shadow across the room. A large figure stood and approached you slowly as your heart pounded. As he came closer, you could make out his face in the low light... the man from the diner.

You clenched your teeth together hard, frozen in fear, but your chest heaved shallow breaths, despite the pain that overwhelmed it, causing tears to well in your eyes. You were holding back sobs, your lips trembling. What was he going to do?! You blinked quickly, watching him. You couldn't use your useless ability to defend yourself; it was so weak that you wondered why you even had it.

You caught a glimpse of something shiny at the end of the long sleeve of his shirt on his left hand... then you realized it was his hand. He had a metal hand. Your panic scale slid upward a few notches, your breathing turning jagged, eyes wide.

"Ist in Ordnung.", his gruff voice soothed as he neared the bed, then crouched next to it to for you both to see each other better. "Du bist sicher." His dark hair hung straight, framing his chiseled features. His eyes were dark in the yellowish light as they searched your face.

You swallowed hard, your throat dry and scratchy. "What-.", you paused. You were having a hard time getting which language you should be speaking to come out of your mouth, your voice hoarse. "I-- Wo bin ich?", you asked timidly.

His brows furrowed sympathetically at seeing you struggle a bit, "Do you speak English? Du sprichst Englisch?"

You blinked and nodded with short jerks.

His face softened a bit as his lips curled up, barely noticeable, his voice low and gravelly, "Okay. 'Cause my German's a little rusty. You're still in Romania. This is my apartment." You looked around for a beat as he went on, "How are you feeling?"

You looked in his eyes again, still feeling scared. But those eyes... there was something about them... something wild, yet controlled; strong, but gentle.

You started to tear up more, breaking eye contact, remembering what happened and not really trusting anything yet.

He wished he could do something to help you. _'Poor thing.'_ , he thought. _'She must be so scared and confused.'_ "Are you hungry?", he tilted his head a little, "I've got some crackers with peanut butter." He got up and headed for the other side of the room to what looked like a kitchenette in the darkness that shrouded it. "I can get some things you like from the store tomorrow.", he offered, his back to you.

You watched as he moved; relaxed, but fluid and precise. He reached into a cupboard and pulled something out of it with his shiny hand, palming it. He then reached in the fridge for a bottle of water and made his way back to you. Once he was almost to the bed, you tried to relax a little and started to try to push yourself up slowly to sit, then hissed at the pain.

"Wait.", he ordered gently. He tossed the two cracker packages and water bottle on the foot of the bed, then grabbed the blanket you assumed he had been using off of the small sofa and came to your side again. He leaned over, wrapping his left arm around you cautiously, gingerly as your heart started pounding again. He pulled you forward slowly...

"Ah-hah-", you whimpered quietly.

He winced, "I'm so sorry.", he offered softly.

Your hand was splayed on his bicep for support as he put the blanket behind you, rearranging it, and the sleeping bag with his free hand. You could feel a coolness under his shirt with your hand. You guessed the metal must go all the way up his arm too. It made you a little nervous that he might hurt you with it; intentionally or not.

He leaned you back again, to sit up slightly; enough to eat and drink, but still lay your head back. "Better?", he asked quietly.

"Thank you."

Your meek voice tugged at his heart a bit as he smiled softly with closed lips. He sat on the edge of the bed and reached around to grab a package of crackers from his other side. He offered it to you with his left hand. You blinked down at it for a beat and he spoke up, "Oh. Sorry." He went to put it in his other hand to offer it.

"No...", you said. He paused before you went on, "It's okay."

He handed it to you and you took it, doing nothing with it yet. He then opened the bottle of water. You watched him, noting the cracking sound of the seal being broken before he twisted off the cap and handed it to you.

"Thank you." You took a moderate drink to soothe your throat and handed it back.

He was watching you as he screwed the cap back on, set it aside and reached for the other package for himself. As he started to open it, your actions caught his attention.

You lifted the cracker package slightly, still in your hand that had been in your lap. You looked at it as you squeezed the package with the fingertips of both hands, watching the cellophane puff up under the pressure. You held it for several long beats, watching it intently as Bucky's lips curved up deeply.

He knew what you were doing. You didn't know him; didn't know if he could be trusted yet. If he had tampered with the package, there could be even a pinhole, unseen to the eye, but the air would escape the package. "You're a smart cookie.", he offered sweetly. "I like that." For the first time, his lips actually parted a bit when he smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling softly and it made you smile back a little and blush slightly, averting your gaze.

He couldn't help but think you looked and acted so precious.

You both ate and chewed in silence for a few moments.

For some reason that he couldn't understand, he just wanted to take care of you. He'd felt that way since the first time he noticed you walking around town; so small, delicate and pretty... even in your frumpy clothes. And that night in the diner; he was so close to you, his need growing stronger... to be near you, protect you. He was glad his gut told him to follow you that night... it was an instinct that couldn't have been more right. It warmed him that you were now letting him take care of you. He felt like he was fulfilling some mysterious duty he was destined to carry out.

He swallowed and took a deep breath, setting down his cracker package to his other side. His face became serious as his eyes demanded your undivided attention, his voice soft, "I want you to know that man will never hurt you again." His metal fingers came to rest tenderly on your scraped hand that held your crackers in your lap, his eyes locked intensely with your own as you blinked back a small wave of tears. He went on, "No one will ever hurt you again. I won't let them."

It was the last thing he thought, his heart and mind shouting in agony because he didn't get out before the darkness of The Soldier took over, trapping him in the nothingness of his own head... _'I won't let them.'_  
...  
TRANSLATIONS: "Ist in Ordnung" = is okay, "Du bist sicher" = you are safe, "Wo bin ich?" = where am I?, "Du sprichst Englisch?" = You speak English?


	8. Chapter 8

When Bucky awoke groggy, he panicked a little. His metal arm was clamped in a giant vice in an old abandoned building. The man he had seen with Steve before called out for Steve while in the next room, "Cap!"

Steve came jogging in and asked Bucky which "Bucky" he was talking to and if he knew him. Bucky confirmed to Steve's satisfaction that he did.

Bucky then said to Steve with worry in his eyes, "Bel-..." He looked to the other man cautiously, then back to Steve, "My life."

Steve clenched his jaw and sighed slowly, giving Bucky a knowing look, "I haven't heard about your life. But we've got bigger things to worry about right now."

Bucky hung his head, "What did I do?"

When you woke the next morning, you rubbed your eyes with your fists, swollen from crying. They burned and you wished you had something to clean them with. You had to fight crying again, taking deep breaths and blowing them out through pursed lips.

You opened your bag and rifled through it. You found a tiny notebook with an address scrawled in Bucky's handwriting and two phone numbers. You felt a knot build in your stomach. You needed to head to the safe house that morning. You didn't even know who would be there. But, you trusted Bucky, despite your apprehension.

You found a package of travel tissue packs and opened it, pinching out one of the tiny packs and pulling back the self adhesive flap. Bucky had packed your bug-out bag and knew you so well; his little tender-heart who sometimes cried at the drop of a hat. He was beyond considerate, always thinking of your needs. It made your throat tighten again.

You palmed the tissue and opened your water bottle, dumping some of the cool liquid on the tissue, then holding it over your puffy eyes. You swiped over them a couple times and sighed, glancing at the cans of food in the corner. You got up to fetch one and the can opener, sitting back down on the mattress. After opening it, you plucked the green beans out, one by one, to eat them. Once you had eaten the whole can, you set it aside and tore a piece of paper from the notebook and found a pen in one of the small zipper pockets.

You scrawled on it, 'Check point.', followed by a symbol that you and Bucky had established for communication to indicate that you were safe. The plan he set out for the both of you, should you have to be separated, was extensive. You were glad you had a sharp memory.

You set the paper on the sleeping bag on the mattress and gathered your things back into your bag, zipping it up and stood, pulling it onto your back again. You took a deep breath and headed out the door, locking it behind you before you started for the address, another town away.

Though you were frightened about this whole situation, you felt confident enough that you could take care of yourself. Bucky had helped you hone your ability during your time together. He worked tirelessly with you to get you to focus it, control it and intensify it. Part of his promise to never let anyone hurt you again was teaching you to take care of yourself. So he worked his ass off, and yours, pushing you through it, teaching you how to fight and how to use your small frame to your advantage.

Once you reached the address after riding the bus, you trudged up the steps of the house on a quiet street in a clean neighborhood. You hesitated before ringing the doorbell.

You heard the sound of a few locks being undone, the door was then opened revealing a tall woman maybe in her thirties or forties with long brown hair, slightly gray at the temples, pulled back in a ponytail. She smiled softly at you, "Здравствуйте." When you didn't respond, looking confused, she tilted her head, "Wie heißt du?"

"Wenig Kitz.", you said softly, giving her your code name before averting your eyes for a beat.

"Okay. Komm herein.", she opened the screen door and you stepped inside. The house was large and immaculate. It felt like you'd stepped into a mansion. You hadn't been in such a nice place for years. There was a German shepherd dog sitting obediently just inside the living room off the entrance.

"Your keeper told me you speak English. Are you okay? Any injuries or anything?", she asked dipping her head down.

You shook your head.

"Good.", she smiled again, "That's Burgh. It's he and I here. He's going to help me keep you safe. He's actually been trained to be a protector. If you're okay with it, I'd like to ask him to smell you, give him some commands so that he knows you are to be guarded. He's a real sweetheart. You don't have to be afraid of him."

You actually really loved dogs and grew up with a cousin who had a German shepherd. You had actually asked Bucky about having a dog in the past, but he was saddened to tell you it would be a bad idea considering the situation you were both in. A small smile found its way to your lips as you nodded slightly, "Okay."

She gave him a command in German and he came to you eagerly, sniffing your jacket sleeve and pant leg. She gave him another command and he sat next to you, still as a statue facing her, eyes locked on her. "Good boy.", she said and he stood wagging his tail, nudging your hand. You pet his head as she looked on, smiling. "I'll show you to your room.", she turned and started up the stairs as you followed, Burgh right behind you. She looked back at you for a beat as she ascended, "I'm Myrna. I wasn't told your name, for safety reasons, so I'll just call you Fawn."

You both reached the landing and she rounded the banister, leading you down the hall, "This is my room,", she gestured, "bathroom... and this", she stepped into the last room as you followed, Burgh standing in the doorway, "is your room.", she finished.

You looked around to find a twin bed and a dresser, a small bookshelf filled with books, a tv on a small stand and a simple radio. It was decorated simply, but feminine. "Thank you.", your mouth curved into a modest smile.

She sighed and said, "I know I may not appear to be much, but I am more than capable of keeping you safe,", she put a soft hand on your arm, "okay?"

"Okay.", you nodded, starting to wonder about Bucky again.

She noticed the change in your expression and offered, "I'm sorry it's come to this, but have faith, sweetie. It'll get you through and that positivity may help the outcome."

You fought to hold back tears as you nodded again.

She pressed her lips together for a beat, "Are you hungry?"

"A bit, yes."

"Okay. There are some clothes and towels in the dresser if you'd like a shower, toothpaste and and a new toothbrush in the bathroom cabinet. I can wash your clothes and right now I'll go make you something to eat. Any requests?"

"Um...", you hesitated.

She chuckled, "Don't be shy. If I have it I'll make it. It's no trouble."

"Pancakes?", you asked shyly.

"You got it.", she grinned and winked, then headed out, Burgh backing up only enough to let her out as she patted his head and muttered something affectionate to him.

You took off your backpack and sat on the hardwood floor, not wanting to soil the pristine bed. You looked over to Burgh, "Komm.", you ordered softly. He came right to you and sat as you pet him, his eyes set on you, but his face relaxed. You started to wrap your arms around him cautiously, leaned over to hug him and he let you. Tears started welling in your eyes, "I hope he comes for me, Burgh."  
...  
Translations: "Здравствуйте." = Hello, "Wie heißt du?" = what is your name?, "Wenig Kitz." = little fawn, "Komm herein." = come in, "Komm." = come


	9. Chapter 9

You got out of the shower and opened the door to let the stifling steam and heat out of the bathroom to find Burgh guarding the doorway right where you left him. He had tried to come into the bathroom earlier, but you had ordered him out.

"Guter Junge.", you murmured to him now, somberly, toweling your hair, another towel wrapped around you. He blinked and tilted his chin up slightly.

You could hear Myrna coming up the stairs, "Pancakes are ready, hon." She came into view in the doorway, halting, hands on the frame, "Everything okay? I heard Burgh whining...", she tilted her head, "Usually means something non-threatening is up."

You stared at yourself in the mirror, suspecting that Burgh had heard you sobbing in the shower, "Yeah. Thank you.", you replied, barely glancing at her and trying to smile as you hung the hair towel and holding the one on your body secure against you.

She knew you weren't telling the truth, but didn't wanna push, "Okay." She stepped in just enough to gather your pile of worn clothes from the floor, "I'll get these in the washer for you.", she grunted as she bent and straightened.

You panicked, "No!" Your shout surprised her as you urgently reached over and clutched at a specific garment, tears welling in your eyes, "Not the jacket.", you nearly whispered and stared at it, pulling it out slowly. You didn't want to lose what little of Bucky's scent was still on it. You put your nose in it and closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath. The tears now slipping from your eyes and a small sob sliding out from within your tight throat. The smell was fading more with each passing moment.

"What does he wear?", she asked softly, her face sympathetic.

You looked up, confused, having been lost in your desperation, "What?"

"Cologne, deodorant?..."

You blinked at the floor, trying to think.

"Laundry soap maybe?"

"Um...", your voice was timid as you looked at her, "it's a green box, with ocean waves on it and... um, white letters." You swallowed the pain of tears in your throat, "I don't remember the name." You glanced at the floor, ashamed, "I'm sorry for yelling." Your face scrunched up as the tears came faster.

"Jesus, sweetie.", She hugged you into her with one arm. "You're breakin' my heart." She rubbed your arm, "You have every right to be on edge. Don't be sorry, okay? I can tell how much you mean to each other. I've met him and his protectiveness over you is obvious. When it comes to you, he doesn't fuck around... And you... I know how much you rely on him to feel safe." She stepped back, with you nodding.

"Thank you.", you offered quietly.

"Now, go get some clothes on and I'll wait to wash these clothes until we make sure I have the right soap, okay?"

You nodded. She left and you went into the bedroom to put on clothes. You settled on some black jersey leggings and a charcoal colored, oversized sweatshirt. There were even bras and underwear in your size, so you put those on too. Once you came downstairs, you followed the sounds Myrna was making in order to find the kitchen.

"Hi.", you smiled a bit.

"Hey, hon.", she turned and fetched a plate with pancakes on it and put it at the seat you were pulling out before heading into a door off the kitchen and rifling around in there. "I already put butter on them, didn't know how long you were gonna be and pancakes are always better with melted butter."

"Thank you.", you called out, reaching over your plate for the syrup already on the table.

She emerged again with a small box, heading to you, "Is this it?"

Your face brightened a degree, nodding softly.

She opened it and held it down low enough for you to smell.

You leaned over it and took a long smell, looking down at the familiar little white granules peppered with bright blue and green ones. You were trying to fight crying again as you nodded more enthusiastically, smiling bigger now as you looked up, "Yes. That's it." You pressed your lips together. _'Hold it together, Bella.'_ , you thought, _'You have to start being strong now.'_ "Thank you so much.", you offered, laying a delicate hand on her wrist.

She smiled and her eyes twinkled at seeing you leveling out a little. Truth be told, she could keep you safe, but you'd be a lot easier to keep safe if you weren't an emotional wreck and had your wits about you. She then got started on your laundry as you ate.  
\-----  
Guter Junge = good boy


End file.
